As 2013 comes to a close tomorrow night and with it begins a brand new year most of us are taking this time to clean out the old and plan for the new. So I figure what better time to start my new blog series I've been tossing around my brain. It doesn't have to do with subscription boxes or makeup (well makeup will be part of the end of the series).
I've mentioned before that I am blind in my left eye due to glaucoma. Around October 2010 my life started to change in a huge way when my doctor informed me that my left eye was legally blind. She had me make some decisions at that time which I believe included surgery to remove scar tissue from the first shunt she had placed in that eye. That surgery did not help as much as we hoped so a more invasive surgery to insert another shunt in a different part of the eye was recommended. I still remember bursting into tears in the office and that at first I was against doing the surgery since we couldn't save the vision in that eye anyway. My parents were behind me no matter my choice but after more discussion with my specialist I said yes to the surgery. That shunt went in the beginning of January 2011 and thus started my aversion to ever wanting to look at my left in the mirror ever again.
My eyes vary greatly now (not so much in their pressures which are thankfully doing amazing!) but more so in appearance. I'd always been told from a young age that my eyes are beautiful and cool looking which can probably still be said for my right eye. My left eye however is not a thing of beauty but more of grayish where it should be white. It's also been described by several specialist as bumpy and lumpy which aren't terms that I think make anyone beam with pride over said eyeball lol. The biggest reason I rarely look at it us because my second shunt is clearly visible on the front of my eyeball since it could not be hidden under my lower eyelid. Any time I do look at my left eye all I see is this is big white square in the corner staring back at me that no longer blends into my grayish eye.
This aversion to my left eye led my mother and I to discuss the possibility of having my eye removed. After much thought on the subject I'd decided this was the best choice for me but alas you need health insurance for that kind of crazy expensive surgery. Which led us down the disability rabbit hole since every other insurance company denied me on the basis of all my pre existing conditions. This process was long and tedious and took one day shy of 2 years to finally to get my approval this August! Excitement and hope blossomed anew for my mother and I not even minding having to wait til January to start the surgery process. Well I mean there is one more little hurdle that was put in my way back in 2012 when my eye started to have days that it was extremely painful. We found out from a cornea specialist that September that I have corneal blisters which are causing all this pain when my body is trying to heal itself after one pops. I still remember getting in the car when my regular eye Dr had stated that's what she thought they were and upon telling my mom the name her saying 'just the name of that sounds painful.'
I tried what are called contact bandages and at first those helped til it accidentally got poured down the drain in our hotel bathroom in Mexico lol. I'd gotten a replacement when we got home but they just kept falling out so now I use an eye ointment to help my eye heal when the pain starts and relieve my discomfort. But now after over a year of dealing with this pain the new year brings with it new hope as my insurance kicks in! I have a consultation with a surgeon next week so I will be posting about that experience as the next entry in what shall tentatively be called the Eye for an eye series since I will be replacing my blind painful eye with a new glass and pain free eye! This has been 3 years coming and I have to say though I am excited for the future the surgery is getting me nervous...
Live. Love. Stay Asp-tastic!
