Tomorrow marks 5 weeks since I had my left eye removed and I've been through lots of ups and downs both emotionally and physically. But to get to today first I have to catch you up on the last few weeks.
My parents and I headed to Baltimore February 24th after my mom got out of work to stay in a hotel. I didn't want to have to wake up at 3 am and deal with my dad's crazy driving while already super nervous for surgery. We went to dinner then I watched tv (thank goodness for my favorite Monday night show 2 broke girls getting my mind off my nerves). Needless to say both my mom and I barely slept that night and 5 am came faster then I thought.
The morning of the 25th I signed in at john's hopkins nervous, excited and not believing the wait was finally over. They took me back to the prep area and I got my IV, monitors and that lovely hospital gown which NO ONE looks good in. I had amazing nurses who even gave me meds to relax me when I started crying when it was time to head back. The last thing I remember is one of my nurses asking "did it hit yet? How bout now? Now?" My mom says that I did this cute little finger point with both hands and said now when it made me happy. They started wheeling me to the doors 2 feet away and before we even hit the doors I was out and can't remember til I woke up after surgery.
Upon waking up I was really hot, sweaty and slightly nauseous but no pain thanks to the pain meds Dr. Pacheco put in my eye socket after surgery. There were 2 things that made me upset that day the first was that I threw up in the car on the way home and the second is that I didn't get to see my eye after surgery even though my surgeon said I could (my mom and dad saw it though mom thought it was cool dad gets queasy easily so he barely looked lol)
Later that day I found out from my mom my eye had gotten too big for my eye socket and the surgeon cut a slit in it to help her get it out. This resulted in eye liquid spraying EVERY person in that OR and my mom having to sign a form for blood tests.
Other than that and a tiny amount of bloody tears over the next few days there was mainly a lot of sleep, pain pills to manage the pain, and 2 beautiful flower deliveries!
Went back that Friday to get the pressure dressing off as well as the sutures cut that were holding the eyelid shut. There was a smaller bruise then any of us thought would be there. By the time I went back ten days later my bruise and the majority of the swelling was gone. So I haven't had to go see her again til next Monday when she says I'll be officially released from her care and Thursday of next week I get my temporary eye.
So many people have called me strong over the years through my 14 surgeries and it's hard to feel strong after such a big chamge. I just know that every day I get a little stronger and have slowly started to love the woman I see in the mirror again which is one part of why I went on this wild journey ro begin with. Also very thankful that I am no longer in daily pain and that God took this opportunity to show me not only the kindness of strangers but that I am stronger and braver then I will ever truly give myself credit for.
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